A frustrating day.  Sadly, he has to come home to you...

See there's so many secrets he'd never divulge to you.  You know...you're the person he "supposedly" loves.  But how many times have you asked him a question and he's refused to talk about it. 

Don't you think he hides a bit too much from you?  Know his biggest secret?  It's the one you refuse to believe.  Oh you know.  Pretend you don't.

You know he doesn't love you.  See you still think he's your knight in shining armor.  But he isn't.  Right?  Can you look me in the face and tell me he's your hero?

Honestly?  It's better you don't answer.  It might be too much for you to handle, the truth that is.  Here they come...

She begins to cry as she looks away from the mirror.  She undresses herself and walks into the bathroom.

She turns on the shower and waits for the water to heat up to a suitable temperature.  She enjoys her showers hot and humid.

She sits in the bathtub and allows the hot water to shower her tears away.

I've run out of creative juices in the past couple of days...so my apologies if you've read this before.

I've always slept on the right side of my bed.  It's just the habit I have for as long as I can remember.

Tonight as I was going to bed I felt the left part of my comforter.  That's the side where the heat from the burner comes in from.  It's next to the wall.  It was so warm.

I moved to the left side of my bed.  I thought of you.  And I thought of you and you and you and you too.  I felt your embrace first, then hers, then hers amongst many others. 

All of you always occupied the left side of my bed, all of you embraced me in a similar fashion, since I refused to sleep on that side of the bed.

I felt the scent of your Pantene Pro-V in your long beautiful black hair, I felt the scent of the Herbal Essences in your hair as well, I felt the Dove Shampoo in yours.

The memories continued to fly through my mind.  My eyes welled up, wanting a tight and warm embrace on a night like tonight.

Once the nostalgia disappeared, I realized I wanted to know what your embrace was like.  What your scent was...what you are all about.

Where are we headed?  Where are we going?  I sure do not know the answers, neither do you.

But on a night like tonight, I wish I knew the warmth that emanates from your body entwined with mine...the way your voice feels while you're whispering sweet nothings into me...the scent of your hair while you're pressed next to me.

But I never will. 

Such is life.

Once upon a time I remember it raining.  It rained so hard that there were huge puddles in the street.

So me being a little 5 year old kid jumped into the puddles.  I was so little though that I almost drowned.

Somehow I was pulled away from the puddle and awoke in a land full of rainbows.

RAINBOWS.  Colorful rainbows with monkeys hanging from rainbow trees. 

Rainbow trees full of rainbow colored apples and rainbow colored strawberries were everywhere.

It was so magical and beautiful. I was happy for the first time in my entire life.

And then a unicorn named Roberto introduced himself.

Hi Jon, I'm Roberto the magical unicorn.

Oh yeah, I thought unicorns weren't real, it's what they taught me in school.

No Jon, I'm a real unicorn.  Unicorns can only be seen by those that BELIEVE or those with severe brain damage. 

Well, I know I don't have any brain damage Mr. Roberto so I guess it must be that I BELIEVE,

So Roberto took me around this new land.  I asked him where we were.

We're in Happy Happy Joy Joy Land.  Where all your dreams become true, you just have to believe in it.

That sounds mighty gay Mr. Roberto and why is that monkey rubbing your unicorn with strawberry syrup?

Nevermind that monkey.  Now let's get down to business.  What do you want to do?

Mr. Roberto I want to climb a Mountain Made of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and then when I'm at the summit I want to eat the entire mountain by myself.

My oh my... Jon I don't think you can eat an entire mountain made of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Nigga you crazy?  Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the crack of candy.  I'd suck a dick for 'em.  I don't know what that means but I know I'd do it for the crack of candy.

Ok.  Let's get down to business lil' Jonny boy

You call me Jonny Boy Again I'll break that unicorn and rape you with it.  Comprende?

Tough words for a 5 year old.

Listen can we please get to the Peanut Butter Cup Mountain?  I'm hungry for some Kiddie Crack.

Ok ok.  Patience little grasshopper.  Hop on we'll fly there.

*30 Mins Later*

Ok we're here. 

Me and Roberto climbed the mountain.  It took three whole hours.  At the summit I pushed Roberto off the peak and told him IT WAS ALL MINE, in a very maniacal, greedy and sadistic voice.

I proceeded to eat the mountain.  Yum yum yum

That was the best day ever.  I gained about 500lbs and a life's worth of heart problems coupled with obesity.

But it was all worth it because I was now Jonathan, THE KING OF REESE'S MOUNTAIN.

THE END.

What superpower would you want?

Me?  I'd want to be able to fly.  I'd fly there and we could be together.  I could just get away.   Fly away.

Corny.  You're always so corny and sappy.

Oh yea Mr. Tough Guy?  What would your superpower be?

You already know.  I'd want to live forever.

Weak shit.  See you're just afraid of death.

No.  Just afraid of forgetting your smile.

Oh and I'm the sappy one.

Years later...I still wish for the same superpower.

We all know who Cupid is.

Little Fairy faggoty looking Olympian God who runs around shooting arrows at unsuspecting couples causing euphoria around your significant other and misery when he/she isn't around.

I ain't into that at all.

This is a story about me and Cupid.

Anyway I was twelve years old at the time this story takes place.  So sit back and enjoy.

So I'm with this girl in Central Park, you know just chilling, talking nonsense.  She was cool.  If I remember correctly her name was Christine.  I always remember correctly so yes her name was Christine.  Anyway Mr. Softee ( if you don't know who Mr. Fucking Softee is you are not from New York and severely deprived as a child) rolls around with that stupid ass jingle of his.

Aight so anyway the girl asks for a vanilla milkshake.  Which is cool except Mr. Softee is expensive as all hell so I had to delve in to my lunch money.  In my head I'm thinking, "God damn broke bitch", as I'm giving my last $10 of my lunch money for two large V-Shakes.

They were mad good though.  Anyway so me and my lady friend are walking through Central Park when through my peripheral vision this crazy homo-looking dude in diapers and wings with some wooden bowset targeting my ass.

I scream out loud, "Fuck that shit", and duck behind the closest tree I can find.  I hear an arrow fly right by ear.  Sadly my lady friend gets struck and well...she's a goner.  She's on Cupid's side now so now I have to run through the park from him and her. 

Love?  Not for me.  I'm a beast and definitely not a lover.  Anyway as I duck and dive through the park from flying arrows, I thought of Rambo and asked myself what he would do.  Of course he'd have his Rambo knife and gut the shit out of Cupid.   Obviously I didn't have one at that point in time so the Rambo thought became null and void.

I ran and ran circles around that cursed park.  Eventually they lost sight of me and I got my chance to surprise Cupid.  I decided I'd go into the area of the park with a bunch of condensed trees.  I climbed up one of the trees and decided this was my only chance at defeating this great evil.

I called out, "Cupid, you 2000 year old diaper wearing motherfucker get your smelly ass over here."   His pink cheeks become a wine red and he flies his little ass over to the trees.  I throw a branch at him, he swipes it away, lightning-quick he slings an arrow at me.  I jump from the tree to avoid it, while at the same time going for a Macho Man Randy Savage Elbow drop to the top of his head.  He barely evades the hit to his head but I manage to hit his shoulder.

We both fall to the ground.  I twist my ankle on the landing and I've injured his shoulder.  I challenge him to a fight under certain stipulations.  He can't fly under any circumstances and if I win he needs to stop that arrow shit.  If he wins well then he'll torment me till kingdom come with the arrows.  Cupid agrees and we start brawling.

I have to admit his reflexes are a lot better than I hoped for a 2000 year old being.  For the most part we're pretty even, my mobility is hindered by my twisted ankle but his punches have become predictable due to his f-ed up shoulder.

Anyway I get the upper hand after about five minutes of the boxing match.  So he decides to cheat and starts flying around and kicking me left and right.  He almost has me down for the count

Eventually he gets a bit careless and I grab one of his legs and swing him to the ground and snuff him on the way to the ground.

I knocked his ass out cold...or so I thought.

As I walk away, head up high after defeating a fairy in diapers, an arrow hits me square in the ass.

Son of a hermaphroditic bitch.